Many men admit that it is difficult for them to guess female desires, especially at the beginning of the relationship. We asked women what gives them to feel their significance for a partner, the psychologist commented on their answers.
Call us by name
“So far we are not so close that special nicknames arose between us, we would like to hear our name more often. This emphasizes interest. Otherwise, we begin to suspect that you are afraid to accidentally call us the name of another woman. Do not call us standard “baby” or “beauty”.
Why is it important? “The pronunciation of the name becomes a symbol that the man distinguishes it,” says family therapist Marina Myus. – This is especially important at the beginning of the relationship. If in English -speaking countries such an appeal is considered a cultural norm, then for us a direct translation of these words
sounds false and insincere.
When relations develop, a pair spontaneously arises their affectionate appeals – a kind of code of lovers, designed to emphasize the connection. In this case, an unexpected rejection of the accepted nickname and the desire to name a partner by name often has the opposite effect. This is a demonstration of discontent and the desire to symbolically indicate the distance “.
Keep the word
“If you talk about feelings, but do not reinforce it with real actions, then send mixed signals. We react painfully to them, since we want honesty from the very beginning, and you call it a drama from scratch “.
Why is it important? “A woman protects important resources for herself: the ability to detect and educate the offspring,” the expert explains. – To become a mother, she can be a limited number of times, unlike a man whose capabilities in terms of paternity are almost limitless. This physiological difference largely predetermines the mismatch of emotional reactions. A woman more critically evaluates the candidate, she needs to feel confident and protected “.
Listen
“You know that if you need to talk, we are ready to listen to you and understand. We want you to listen to us, even when the story seems to you trivial and not worthy of attention, and remembered what we tell ”.
Why is it important? “Most men think more abstractly than women, and try to summarize the information in order to immediately find the optimal solution,” the psychologist says. – this often lies the mutual understanding. The woman interprets the lack of interest in details as inattention and indifference. She often does not expect practical answers, but seeks sympathy and sensations of emotional connection.
For a man, help is effective and the situation resolution. Understanding this will help women not demand the impossible, and it is better for men to realize an emotional request addressed to them. “.
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